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Who Needs LL Bean Duck Boots for Winter When You Could Just Rank DePaul

I hope not to be banned from the state of Maine.

L.L. Bean boot... Photo by Whitney Hayward/Portland Portland Press Herald via Getty Images

Cons of “Bean Boots”

  • Do beans even make for a supportive foot sole? Has anyone verified this? The science is shockingly silent.
  • Any size you order will be too big.
  • My neighbor once said in passing that they have poor traction. I have never seen him since.

Pros of Ranking DePaul

  • DePaul
  • Would
  • Get
  • What
  • It
  • Deserves
  • Also
  • The joy it would bring to Pantelis Xidias.