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I've never been to a monster truck rally. I never really understood why people were so enamored with giant trucks with excessive suspension driving around on a dirt track, going off of ramps and doing monster truck stuff.
I have seen a basketball game before. It's sort of the similar. Here's a quick list of the similarities:
- Both take place in an arena
- Both are spectator events
- The trucks need gasoline to go, basketball players need Gatorade to survive
- Isaac Copeland could be a monster truck driver if he chooses that career path
- Some basketballs are made from recycled tires
Let's talk about the central topic of this article: the Musketeers against the Hoyas.
Let me make an assumption here: Georgetown fans wish they were watching giant trucks go off of super neat ramps rather than watch their basketball team grip their hearts in a tight vice, promising to let go but never doing so.
Georgetown fan: "Oh no D'vauntes Smith Rivera, why must you crush my heart?"
DSR: "It is not my fault, the competition is just too good and to be honest the team stayed up watching re-runs of Cheap Seats so we were kind of tired."
"I like Cheap Seats so I understand."
"The season with the live audience was bad."
"I know."
"Steve Garvey seems like a nerd."
"Great hair though. Can't knock him for that."
"We'll get 'em next time. Please don't stop supporting our team. We'll return to glory soon."
"OK, love you DSR."
"Love you too, Georgetown fan."
Xavier fans remember that Georgetown beat their favorite hoop team earlier in the year. The Hoyas beat them at the Cintas Center, a place where Xavier's opponents usually show up to lose.
Today wasn't necessarily about revenge for the Musketeers, the emphasis was based heavily on showing the Hoyas that they were a superior team, that the last time these two teams played it was more or less a fluke. Georgetown is good, sure, but Xavier is really good. I'd go so far as to say that Xavier is the second best team in the BIG EAST conference!
I watched this game on Fox Sports Go. If I have any advice for you, it's to make sliders during baseball season so you can make puns and force all of your friends to hate you and never watch sports with you again. I like baseball though so I'm glad there's a commercial targeted towards baseball fans, a demographic in which I reside.
JP Macura just missed a 3-pointer. I'm writing this nonsense before the game is even over, that's how sure I am that Xavier will probably win this game.
Edmond Sumner (pictured below) had a great hoop game today, scoring a career high and impressing everyone except that one dude who is only impressed by monster trucks and aggressive ice cream truck drivers.
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I had a conversation with someone recently about gravity and basketball, a topic that is presumably on the minds of all basketball fans. If you take gravity away from basketball it becomes quite different. If you add more gravity, though, then again you would have to amend the rules. Adding gravity would subsequently make bouncing a basketball very difficult, forcing teams to roll the ball across the court. It would also make shooting the basketball nearly impossible since the ball would plummet to the court at greater speeds - something I suppose you could adjust for. Here's the kicker, though - players would move a lot slower and be more prone to travelling. This creates a bit of an issue, so you'd have to eliminate the travelling rule, lower the basket, shorten the court and perhaps add a bit of elevation to the middle of the court so players could gain more momentum going down towards the basket.
Think about it and ask your psychiatrist if (s)he thinks this is a good idea. I know I asked mine and he told me, "Please leave sir, you're no longer welcome at this bank."
I looked up at my television again and Xavier is still beating Georgetown 80-63.
Thanks for reading!