Creighton beats Marquette 2-1 in World Football

There was a football game between two BIG EAST schools on Saturday night, between the Marquette Golden Eagles and the Creighton Bluejays.

Here’s the standings as of, well, before the game:

In the first half of the football game, the Marquette Golden Eagles held possession for a long time. They passed the ball to each other and avoided getting tackled by the Bluejays. Marquette’s Luis Barraza appeared to get sleepy since he wasn’t experiencing any football action, so it looked like he was ready for a naptime by the 25th minute.

Then, suddenly, out of nowhere, the Bluejays began their full on attack. They shot on goal five whole times in the first half, scoring on one.

Barraza’s naptime would have to wait.

The goal came in the 37th minute, with Ricardo Perez scoring after he kicked the ball at the goal. He celebrated in joyous elation with his teammates after his most excellent accomplishment. There were women and children in the crowd making lots of noise with their hands - their scarves blowing into their faces on a breezy night.

The ball was kicked a lot. It was kind of harrowing. I wouldn’t want to get into a fight with any of these people because they’re really good at kicking.

The game went into halftime and my usual cat like readiness had stumbled into an existential crisis. Who am I? Am I a sportswriter yet? Am I just a man with a computer? Can anyone do what I do?

I then thought about my childhood and all of my regrets. I started to feel bad so I went and hydrated with a bottle of water.

Re-energized and hydrate, I placed my peepers upon the pitch for the second half. Marquette went into super agro mode, like they were called babies in the locker room or something and they came out with something to prove.

Unfortunately, Marquette’s offense isn’t really all that great. They had plenty of opportunities to score for a while but couldn’t pull the proverbial leg trigger. It was too bad, they tried super hard and just couldn’t get it done.

The two teams took a water break. They also had orange wedges and an option to swap out their water option for capris suns. The water break took approximately four minutes. It allowed me to collect my thoughts.

After the water break the Marquette Golden Eagles scored a goal! It was weird and a mess, I really couldn’t see what happened but it looked like Creighton’s keeper Alex Kapp fell into a trap door and allowed the Golden Eagles to fall into the ball’s momentum, into the goal.

The comebacker/upset was raging! Marquette finally got to cash in on their offensive press. Jan Maertins was credited with the goal but in all reality the entire Marquette team deserved a whopping deal of credit. Those boys played their hearts out and really deserved for that ball to go into the net.

Evan Waldrep was a bad person so the guy wearing a red long sleeved shirt stopped the game and shoved a yellow card into his face. Waldrep didn’t seem to bothered by it, which is weird because I would’ve been pretty ticked if someone started waving colored paper in my face and giving me the business.

The ball was kicked around a lot.

Ricardo Perez got fouled sorta near the box so he got to kick the ball at the net while everyone stood around and watched. Freshman Karim Sawaf from Calitown, USA touched the ball while it was travelling towards the net and so he got credited with the goal. This football goal was good for Sawaf’s first ever collegiate goal. I couldn’t believe the Golden Eagle upset ended so quickly, but I’m fooled often and this just happened to be another case of that.

The ball got kicked around a lot after that and all the Bluejay fans went home happy. Me personally, I’d much rather see the cellar dweller Golden Eagles take down perennial bad boy and tough guy and superpower Bluejays. As far as upsets go, it might be the biggest upset since Appalachian State took down the Michigan Wolverines.

There was a lot of controversy on the Karim Sawaf goal. It was initially booted along by Ricardo Perez, and initially the referees believes Sawaf touched it, but after further review it looked as if it did not touch Sawaf. The media booth filled with arguments. I personally just sat back and counted my fingers.

Congrats to Perez for being the Big East Coast Bias player of the match.

Shame on the long sleeved red guy for being the Big East Coast Bias ‘Negative Nancy’ of the match.