Do you ever dream of the rain forest? The sights, the sounds, the poisonous creatures crawling up your arms and potentially killing you? Oh my how I loved to dream these dreams when I was but a child, waking terrified in the middle of the night only to find myself in a dry bedroom with nary a creature to be found. As my heart rate settled, I was finally able to continue my slumber, safely. Tis this dream that was oft repeated, a horrific nightmare entering my REM cycle and shaking me soul to its core.
Tim Miles has similar dreams, though he's awake and alert as they happen. Instead of a tropical rain forest, there are fans inside of an arena. Instead of poisonous creatures, it's Greg McDermott. Unfortunately for Tim, he cannot simply wake up and end this nightmare. Like a bad acid trip he must endure it til' its end, trembling, bumbling and shifting nervously as he observes McDermott's bunch score points with relative ease.
Eventually I stopped having these nightmares. Instead, I hit the puberal stage of my life like a concussion fiend in a boxing ring and began having countless dreams about hot ladies shooting me down in a social setting, embarrassing me in front of all my enemies.
This is sort of where Tim Miles was at tonight against the Creighton Bluejays. An arena jam-packed with 17,000+ fans in blue clothing hollered at the poor coach as he was yet again defeated by Greg McDermott. This marks the twelfth time in Tim Miles' coaching career that he has succumbed to a big, fat L when his hoop squadron is facing a McDermott-led hoop squadron.
Tonight was a fun and exciting adventure for the fans of the blue team. In the early moments of the game, it appeared as if their fearless leader - Geoffrey Groselle - was bitten by the injury bug. The down-low threat was then replaced by the marshmallow guy from Ghostbusters and the Nebraska Cornhuskers began poking at the weakness. "Please stop," Zach Hanson thought, "I am but a giant man with immovable hands!"
It proved to be a lark, as the 7'0 red headed monster from Texas returned shortly to deposit many a basket into the red rim. After the game, Groselle even referred to the Nebraska squadron as a rival, though normally rivals tend to be a bit more competitive. In his 5 years with the private university, the Creighton center expressed how delicious it was to defeat the poor red bastards every time he has bore witness to them on a basketball court whilst in uniform.
It was a bit of a marvel to see the red hoop squadron's Sir Andrew White III slay the basket with relative ease throughout the night. Like an enormous man attempting to somersault down a flat road for two miles on his way to work, Sir White III managed to score but his efforts were hilarious and futile. It was as if the defenses the blue team put forth were apprehensive on stopping him from doing what he does so well, solely because they knew that very few of Sir White's closest allies would be wary of assisting him,
A dismal first round of action for the red team led to a the hoop squadron putting the ball in the basket on only 10 of their 32 tries. If I were a salesman attempting to sell intelligent Americans on voting for Donald Trump I believe I would have worse luck than the red team had shooting the ball tonight. I believe I could convince 1 our of every 500 American with an IQ over 80 to vote for Donald Trump.
Donald Trump is the worst.
Statistics for your brain:
Points: Isaiah Zierden - 17 (5-7FG 2-4 3FG)
Assists: Khyri Thomas - 7
Rebounds: Khyri Thomas - 9
Points: Andrew White III - 28 (11-21FG 3-8 3FG)
Assists: Tai Webster - 3
Rebounds: Andrew White III - 10