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Creighton 113 - Upper Iowa 77

The Peacocks never stood a chance.

Why did this happen?
Why did this happen?
Steven Branscombe-USA TODAY Sports

Creighton dominates as Upper Iowa remains a D-II school.

Creighton absolutely dismantled the Peacocks from Upper Iowa 113-77. This was completely expected, though, considering Upper Iowa is a teeny tiny school in some part of Iowa. I wish they'd let me know where in Iowa they were located, that'd be extremely helpful when writing an article like this. For the duration of the game I couldn't shake the image of a peacock playing basketball. I know about Airbud, the golden retriever who was a skilled hoops star, but I find the idea of a peacock slamming the orange globe through the red rim, with its colorful feathers flailing in the wind majestically, to be a playfully bizarre scene. In the real world, we can only watch as humans toss the inflated leather ball around. The real world is imperfect and ugly. Off in the recesses of your mind you can live in a world where peacocks are paid multi million dollar deals to play this sport, and sometimes I choose this fantasy.

The real-world game was pretty much over by halftime. Upper Iowa tried, very hard, to make this competitive but their efforts were futile. I feel for these guys. Had I been able to grow to 6'3 and form real muscles I might have been a candidate to play for Upper Iowa at some point in my life as mediocrity and the spirit of the underdog are strong within my soul. Instead, I sat at a long table next to the basketball court clickity clacking on my keyboard and smiling a lot at absolutely nothing. I watched as skilled men played a competitive game, each moment ticking off a clock like it was a death sentence awaiting the Peacocks from Upper Iowa. In my fantasy I'd imagine a peacock sacrifice following every loss, an archaic practice but a very necessary one. Wait, what was I writing about? Oh yeah, basketball. It's definitely a sport, don't let anyone tell you different.

Sometimes I'm awed by what exactly a basketball player can do. They can, with relative ease, shoot a ball into a hoop from a distance. I can do that with a paper ball and a trashcan from my desk, but on a hardwood court with 13,000 people watching me and a 10ft hoop? Heck no, get outta here. Creighton has always been pretty good at basketball. I used to watch when I was a kid waaaay up in the nosebleeds and had a lot of fun doing it. Now, here I am, looking like an idiot smiling at nothing while sitting within arms length of the basketball court I grew up staring at.

I feel like I can tell you these things because, like this game, it doesn't really matter. This was an exhibition game, a practice. It won't go in the record books. It'll just exist. Like me, on the sidelines here. Yet, this game just gives you an idea. It gives you the right to dream. It gives you a slice of pure fantasy in this reality we create for ourselves. I really love basketball. It's super cool.

I'd give you some sort of analysis but I'd be doing you a disservice. Upper Iowa did not belong on the court tonight. They blew assignments and played seemingly exhausted from the outset of this game. Creighton dominated. I mean, I had a few takeaways. I think Malik Albert is a really special player. I think Khyri Thomas is going to be a star at Creighton. I think Greg McDermott is a phenomenal coach who won big time with the transfers he got in Maurice Watson and Cole Huff. The future looks insanely bright for the Bluejays. I'm very excited to see how this season shakes out, and I believe getting overlooked in the preseason Big East standings will add fuel to their fire.

I'm just glad basketball is back.