Smart, Sophisticated, Sexy: Three Words To Describe AP Voters Who Put DePaul In The Top 25

You’ve just come home from a long day’s work, writing at the word mill, when your significant other calls you into the bedroom. You enter the bedroom and in the center of a perfect circle of rose petals is the DePaul Blue Demon logo. Your significant other then begins to play a Dave Leitao press conference with smooth jazz playing in the background. The essential oils named “Sexy Writer” fills the air. You know what you need to do.

Your significant other, in their sexiest outfit, slowly opens your secured, very fancy, voting-only laptop. On the page awaiting you is your AP ballot. They sensually scroll to DePaul, or however it works, and place your hand on the wireless mouse, bringing your index finger to the box or cursor prompt or whatever, and place the vote for DePaul.

Your significant other then whispers the four words you’ve been longing for your whole life: “You just ranked DePaul.” Your knees tremble with weakness and you’re awash in a euphoric orgasm that pulses for hours.

You awake the next day, feeling like a new, much sexier human being. You’re splashing sex appeal every time you look around. Everyone wants to touch you, but they know they cannot, because you’re a very cool and sophisticated AP voter. They can feel your aura. You’re practically a God to them.

Does this sound like something you want to experience? All you have to do is what you’ve always had sexy dreams of doing: Ranking DePaul. Just do it.