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Celebrity Big Brother: Metta World Peace enters the house

This is very important to me.

Ron Artest #15...

Big Brother is a cruel game. It’s designed to test you mentally and physically in ways most will never experience in the outside world. Former St. John’s star Metta World Peace’s time on Celebrity Big Brother should be one of the more intriguing storylines of the mini-season.

Having cameras and a microphone on you every waking second as you sit in a house with a dozen strangers doing absolutely nothing for 20 hours out of the day can make anyone snap. Throw in the constant paranoia of underlying schemes, backdoors, and lies, and it is guaranteed to wear you down.

There are physical competitions that require strength and agility, testing the limits of even the most shirtless made-for-tv 20-something named Brad. Then there are the endurance competitions, which will both test you mentally and hurt muscles you didn’t even know existed.

I’m having a hard time pegging how a former NBA All-Star with a controversial past fits into this game. And I like that.

His Advantages:

First, the obvious. After spending nearly two decades in the NBA, Metta should perform well in physical competitions. I have no idea what kind of shape he’s in now, but assuming he didn’t go full-Bartolo, he should be fine.

That was the easy part.

Metta’s history — the Malice at the Palace, especially — is well documented, and if he’s smart, he will use that to his advantage. Production is going to want to brand him as a loose cannon, and he should play to that. If he presents himself as someone who can erupt at any moment, houseguests might be inclined to keep him around, just to keep the spotlight off themselves. Think about how Josh stuck around in the early days of Big Brother 19.

But he needs to play it right. Throw a fit over something trivial, then lay low for a day or two. Don’t become a toxic presence in the house. For every minute he spends drawing attention to himself, he should spend twice that trying to forge a bond with houseguests who may bring different strengths to the table. Or, merely, whoever is in power that day.

His Disadvantages:

Unfortunately for Metta, he won’t be the only ego in the house. And he won’t be the only one stirring up controversy. Freakin’ Omarosa is there, after all. So he’s going to have to pick his spots. And given that she worked in the damn White House, it’s possible that she will be seen as the bigger threat. Maybe that’s to his advantage, maybe it’s not.

He also won’t be able to hide his athletic prowess. It comes with the territory of being a former NBA All-Star. He can’t Dan Gheesling his way through the early competitions, throwing the physical ones as to not attract attention. No one’s going to buy that.

It also appears, according to his cast bio, that he has never seen the show before. He’s not alone in that. But that does mean there will be a learning curve. I have no idea how steep it will be, but it’s something to consider.

Some basketball puns and one-liners that production is welcome to use:

Can Metta come through in the clutch or will he be boxed out of the house?
Will Metta score a veto win or will he be traveling home?
The former All-Star netted an alliance with…
Metta got the assist on sending ___ out the door
Will Metta go backdoor to send ____ home?
Facing a week on the block, Metta turned on the full court press to stay in the house.
Can he rebound from a rough HOH competition?
While Metta decided to post up in the HOH room…
After flopping in the HOH competition, Metta hopes to take charge in the veto.
Will ___ be evicted or will Metta fade away from the competition?

OK, that’s all for now. Check back here throughout the season as I update you on his performance. God Bless America I love this.